52-Week Challenge: Week Twenty-Nine

A little late on this week's challenge.  It's hard to stay on top of things when you're on a prolonged vacation, but I can't really complain.  I mean, I'm on vacation.  :)

Anyway, I thought the quote that starts out this week's challenge was interesting:

"The art of leadership is saying no, not saying yes.  It is very easy to say yes."

-Tony Blair

The more I thought about this, the truer it seemed.  How often do we get guilted into saying "yes" simply because it's so much easier than saying no?  This leads us to make commitment after commitment until we are stressed out and overwhelmed and NONE of our commitments get our full attention, instead getting only a half-hearted attempt.  How is this better than just saying "no"?

It's not.  That's why this week's challenge is to evaluate opportunities and say no to those things that aren't important so you can make room for things that are.  How can you do this?  Here's a few ideas:

1.  Assess your current commitments.  Look at the things you've committed to in your personal, professional, and social life (the challenges we've already gone through in this book might make for quite a few commitments already!)  Take a hard look and decide which ones are really important and which aren't.  It might help to actually write out all your commitments and circle the important things.  The circled items take priority; the non-circled things do not.

2.  Set goals.  What do you want to accomplish?  When a new opportunity comes up, determine if it fits into your goals (or your mission statement).  If not, it's okay to say no.

3.  Leave guilt behind.  If you don't feel like doing something but feel obligated, this your cue to say no.  Now, this doesn't mean you can say no to EVERYTHING you don't feel like doing.  For example, I don't feel like going to my yearly well-woman appointment; I only feel obligated.  However, that doesn't mean I can say no to going!  

4.  Learn how to say no.  This might be the most important.  Such a small word, yet so hard to say.  Here are some tips:

a.  Take your time:  if you don't know how to respond, take a day or

two to think about it.  This lets the person who inquired know that you

are honestly considering the option and that even your "no" is a thoughtful

decision.

b.  Be transparent:  Don't be phony with your reasons.  Your reasons for

saying no are valid, even if they may seem trivial.  As long as you're honest,

they are good reasons.

c.  Be respectful but firm:  Don't be mean about it, but don't let anyone try

to guilt you into changing your mind or twist your arm.  Your no is final.