My time on the ROK is coming to an end. Oskar and I have less than 24 hours left in South Korea. We're packing our bags and heading back to 'Merica, leaving my poor husband behind to tie up loose ends and deal with the stresses and headaches of out-processing. But, in my defense, I'm carrying precious cargo and, at six months pregnant already, nobody wants me to go into pre-mature labor on a Korean Air flight, do they? I am NOT a good flyer, and I think it's best to get this baby safely on US soil before my own stress causes him to pop out and say hello before he's completely done cooking.
Anyways, the prospect of leaving Korea and returning to the US for GOOD and not just a vacation for the first time in 4 years (and for the first time in our married life) has me nostalgic. I've started compiling a list of all the things I will and will not miss about the "Land of the Not-Quite-Right." Let's start with the things I will NOT miss, shall we?
1. Seoraksan Tower: While I feel blessed that we were able to procure on-base housing, which made life infinitely easier while living overseas, there are so many things I will not miss about the ghetto they call Seoraksan Tower. Just to name a few: broken elevators and the constant fear of getting trapped in one; insanely loud and inconsiderate neighbors (I'm talking to YOU, upstairs elephants); the constant presence of dog waste littering the hallways and areas surrounding the building (I will never, ever understand why some people think the big sign commanding people to clean up after their pets does not apply to them); the weird array of unwanted crap that people leave in the lobby of the building (NEWSFLASH: NO ONE WANTS YOUR USED UNDERWEAR! THROW IT AWAY! Anything else--take it to the Thrift Shop. That's what it's there for!); constantly leaking water pipes and the resulting loss of hot water/heat to fix it for the one millionth time; and the pile of garbage that accumulates every weekend because people are too lazy to walk 100 yards down to the dumpster.
2. Air Quality. Yellow dust is the most obnoxious thing EVER. Nothing like having a beautiful spring day that you can't enjoy because breathing the air will give you cancer. But that's not the only air quality issue. There's also that SMELL. Anyone who has ever lived in Korea knows what I'm talking about. I was warned before I got here, but I was not prepared for it. On certain days, the air is permeated with a odor that can only be described as a mix between kimchi, wet garbage, raw sewage, and B.O. Simply walking outside on some days is enough to make you dry heave. . . especially when you are in your first trimester and are essentially a walking gag reflex.
3. EXERCISE, EXERCISE, EXERCISE. Enough said.
4. Korean summers and Korean winters. Korea has some of the most extreme fluctuations of temperatures I've ever seen. The summers are brutally hot and humid, and the winters are bitterly cold and windy. You really only get two good seasons, spring and fall, and they are WAY too short when faced with the torment of the coming months.
5. AAFES Taxi Drivers. If I never have to take another Korean taxi in my life, it will still be too little, too late. Although I have come across maybe TWO decent drivers, the rest are rude and unsafe. They drive WAY too fast, ignore traffic signs (one-way street? what does that mean?), and generally act like having to take you wherever you want to go is a hassle. They have almost run over my dog TWICE because they cannot WAIT for you to get out of the crosswalk so they can get on their way, paying no attention to the little wiener dog that often walks a couple of steps behind me. And despite calls to AAFES to complain, nothing changes. Every time I see them whiz through Mustang Valley, I can't help but think of Will Ferrell in 'Elf': "Careful! The black ones don't stop!"
6. Walking Everywhere. Don't get me wrong. I've always been someone who likes to take walks. But sometimes it gets tiring when you just want to check your mail. . . and you have to walk 15 minutes one way just to get there (especially when you are pregnant). In addition, everywhere you walk in Korea is up-hill and against the wind. I don't even know how that's possible, but this IS the land of the not-quite-right afterall. And don't even get me started on the monster hill leading up to Seoraksan Tower, which I don't have a choice but to climb if I want to get back home.
7. Shopping. There are so many little nuances in this category that I had to make it general. I will not miss shopping downtown. Although there are so many wonderful things you can find or get made for a relatively cheap price, I cannot stand the high-pressure of it all (if you even pick something up to look at it, the shop-keepers will start wrapping it up and ringing it up. "You buy? You buy." What? NO!). In addition, there's always the "Okay, this will be ready for you on Monday". . . . so you come back on Monday only to be told, "You come back. One hour," which means they haven't even STARTED on your order. Frustrating! And, maybe this is bad to say, but I can't help but feeling like I'm getting ripped off when I shop some places off-base. But, to be fair, I also will not miss shopping on-base. Although I am thankful to have a BX where we get tax-free American goods so far away from home, I will not miss how they never have anything you REALLY need, how very few of the salespeople speak English (except for the cashiers), and how crowded it is ALL THE TIME. But, what I will not miss the MOST in this category is grocery shopping. Again, I am thankful for the commissary and the fact that I can still get my over-processed American food while living in South Korea, but I will not miss the ordeal that is grocery shopping on this base. I am forced to either walk home from the commissary carrying a good 50 pounds of groceries (see 6. if you don't understand why this a bad thing) or take a taxi (see 5. if you don't understand why this is a bad thing) because we are only allowed one car, and I never, ever have it. And even when I do have a car, it's a pain to get all those groceries from the car to my 7th floor apartment. This either takes a cart (of which there is never any when you need one) or multiple trips up and down elevators that constantly break. Because of these options, I am normally forced to make multiple trips to the commissary to break up the load of things I have to carry. And, let's face, getting groceries is not fun anywhere, especially not when you have to do it every day.
8. Traffic. Traveling in Korea is almost impossible. The road system is out-dated and not nearly advanced enough to handle the millions of drivers on the road. This means a 30 mile trip will take you over an hour. As for Korean drivers. . . . well, some stereotypes exist for a reason. For example, this is the only place where I've ever seen someone STOP and go into REVERSE on the freeway. Not kidding.
9. The Dog Park. In so many ways, the off-leash dog park by the commissary has been a blessing for me. Oskar is high-energy dog who desperately needs off-leash time. And, after living in Germany without a yard OR a dog park, I am so grateful that there was at least SOMEWHERE I could take him to get all his energy out. However, I will not miss having to go down there every day and do a "poop scan" of the entire park before we begin playing to make sure there are no random messes that I will step in or Oskar's toy will land in (meaning the poop will then get on my hands or in his mouth.) He has been sick so many times since we got here, and I really think the dog park is to blame. Well, not really the dog park, but the irresponsible pet owners who refuse to clean up after their pets. What part of "pick up pet waste" do you not understand? If picking up poop is too gross or too hard for you, then you shouldn't have a dog. Leaving messes behind is unsightly, unsanitary, and unsafe. Dog feces can contain numerous parasites and bacteria that can infect other dogs AND humans. The dog park is not your own personal back yard or pet relief area; you are not the only person who uses it. *Sigh* I could go on and on about this, but I won't. Maybe it's not so much the dog park I won't miss, but irresponsible pet owners.
10. North Korea. Just because I'm leaving the ROK doesn't mean I don't have to worry about Kim Jong-il. But it is going to be nice that every time he decides to play his little game of "mine is bigger than yours," I won't have to cancel all my plans until his temper tantrum is over. An increased distance between myself and a mad man with nuclear weapons will never be a bad thing. However, I WILL miss quoting him a la 'Team America' all the time: "Ronery. . . I'm so ronery. . . "
Alright, so that's my rant about Korea. But, honestly, there are tons of things I am going to miss about Osan. No, really. So here's my list of things I WILL miss about the ROK.
1. Seoraksan Tower. Yes, this is also number one of my list of things I will not miss. I've really had a love/hate relationship with MFH. Despite all of the things that drive me crazy about on-base housing, it really has been a blessing. I love how convenient it was to get to anywhere on base from my house (see 6. above if you don't understand why this is important.) I love how safe I always felt in my home. I never thought twice about my safety when I was home alone or hesitated about taking Oskar out to go potty in the middle of the night. I love my neighbors (except for the elephants upstairs), especially the ones across the hall who have graciously put up with Oskar's barking for 2 years without complaint. There are so many wonderful people I have met just because they happen to live in this building. I love the ajumas who clean our building and greet me every morning with a smile and an "An nyoung ha seh yo!" I love being able to walk down the hall in my slippers and hang with out with my best friends whenever I want. It's like being in college all over again, but you get to have your family with you. When the weather is nasty (see 4. above), you can stay home in your pjs. . . but still watch movies or play games with great friends. I am really going to miss the Seoraksan crew.
2. Off-Base Restaurants. When I found out I was coming to Korea, I was worried I would starve to death because I am really not an "Asian food" kind of girl. But the downtown area right outside of the main gate has such a wide variety of food, I was never ever hungry. From Italian to Mexican to German to Turkish. . . they have it all. And although I am excited to get back to some of my favorite "chain" restaurants in the States, I will sorely miss the cuisine here.
3. The Fitness Center. Living in Korea put me in the best shape of my life. Not only because I have to walk everywhere, but because of the FREE gym membership. Open 24-hours, the gym was such a haven during the Korean summer and winter, not to mention all those yellow dust-filled days. Now I'm going back to the States and I'll either have to a) buy my own treadmill or b) pay for a gym membership. . . which means I'll probably just get fat.
4. Korean Spring. This has to be one of the most beautiful places to experience in spring. The temperatures start to warm up and the ground and trees explode with a gorgeous variety of colorful flowers. Now, okay, its no Keukenhof, but after suffering through the long, ugly, bitter Korean winter, springtime here is one of the most welcome sights in the world.
5. Small Town Atmosphere. One of the biggest complaints I hear about Osan is that it's like living in a fishbowl. It's a small base where everyone knows everyone else. . . and everyone knows everything you are doing at all times. I admit, at times it is frustrating, but most of the time I love it. I come from a really small town, and being here really feels like home to me. I love that I can't go anywhere on this base without running into someone I know (even if I did just roll out of bed or come straight from the gym. I think it makes us better friends if you see how I ugly I really can be.) I love that the people at the commissary know me by name and ask me how Oskar is doing. I love that I can go see Ms. Cho at the beauty shop and have her cut my hair exactly how I want it without telling her. I love that some of the waiters in Chili's know what I'm going to order before I even open my mouth. As weird as this may seem, sometimes this place really seems like a slice of the midwest across the Pacific.
6. Oskar's Rock Star Status. My dog is famous in Korea. Okay, well maybe not famous, but he is definitely a local celebrity. Wiener dogs are not very common in Korea, so the locals always make a fuss when they see him. They even think it's cute when he barks at them for making a fuss (he is not very nice to his "fans"). And even here on base, where Americans are used to seeing dachshunds, very rarely can we make it through one of his walks without people "ooh-ing" and "aah-ing" over my adorable pup. It always makes me smile, and it's been a great way to get Oskar socialized (before we got here, I think the list of people he actually liked was limited to about 5). And here's the kicker--there are so many people on this base who don't even know my name. I'm simply "Oskar's mommy." Yeah, my dog's a rock star.
7. My OB. I know this probably seems like a random thing to miss about Korea, but it's true. I absolutely did NOT want to be pregnant in Korea. My husband and I agreed that we would try to LEAVE here pregnant, but I wanted to be so early in my pregnancy that I wouldn't even have to see a doctor here before I left. However, getting pregnant happened right away after we started trying and I had no choice but to see the doctor here on base. Although I was apprehensive (read: panicked) about being pregnant for the first time, in a foreign country, and away from family, Major Kress immediately made feel right at ease. She answered all of my completely absurd questions, put up with my numerous freak-outs, and took the time to work with me through some medical issues that ended up being nothing instead of just automatically classifying me as high-risk and sending me out the door and up to Seoul. Although I have nothing to compare it to, I have been so pleased with the treatment I have gotten here, and I will forever be grateful to Major Kress and the rest of the Women's Health Clinic here for getting me through my first 6 months of pregnancy without having an panic attack. :)
8. Happy Quilt and the Flower Market. I know that shopping was on my list of things I will NOT miss about Korea, but these two places are the exception. Happy Quilt is a large, CHEAP fabric store here run by some of the nicest, sweetest people EVER and, although I had never sewed a day in my life before moving here (save for an 8th grade home ec class), all it took was one trip there to give me the sewing bug. I'm leaving here knowing how to make tote bags, aprons, book covers, skirts, and napkins---and it's all because of Happy Quilt. And the Flower Market? Well, the Flower Market is just heaven on earth. Millions of beautiful flowers (again for dirt cheap), sold by sweet little old Korean men and women. I would go to both of these places every day if I could.
9. Brian C. Margaritas. Although my time with Brian C. ended about six months ago (right about the time that little stick turned blue), his margaritas and the role they played in my time in Korea cannot be overstated. Let's face it: Osan is not the easiest place to live (see just a few of the reasons why listed above) and, every now and again, you need a stiff drink to help it all go down. The times I spent with the Friday night Chili's club were some of the BEST times I had here. I never wanted to push downtown or hang out the O'Club. I just wanted to sit at Chili's with my girlfriends, gossip, laugh, eat Classic Nachos, and drink Brian C. margaritas. I never knew it was possible for one person to spend $100 at Chili's in a single night until I moved here. So to Brian C., who makes the best margaritas at Osan, and the original Friday night Chili's club, Marlene, Stephanie, Katherine (and occasionally Nicole): I salute you. Next time we all meet up, Presidentes are on me.
10. The Draggins. Last but certainly not least. Where do I even begin? The Assam Draggins have been, hands down, the best squadron I've ever been a part of. I had kind of a rough transition to the fighter pilot wife lifestyle, and I never really found my footing at our last squadron. But from the instant I got to Osan, I felt like I was part of a family. I have never been so well taken care of by a group of people who were not blood relations. I never had a lonely holiday or felt abandoned during a TDY, and it's all because of this squadron. The caliber of people I have met through my time in the Draggins has been astounding; so many different people from so many different backgrounds thrown together into one of the toughest assignments in the Air Force. . . and yet we come together and make Korea a great place to live. When I got here, I was astounded by people on their way out who were so sad to go. . . but now I understand. It's the Draggins. When you leave, you're not going to miss Korea; you're going to miss the Draggins. You guys are what made Osan so great; I will miss the things on this list because of you guys (except for my OB. . . you guys didn't really have anything to do with that ;) ). Thank you for two great years. PIL SUNG!